A lot of
researchers contend that somewhere toward the end of the twentieth century,
busyness became not just a way of life, but glamorous, it’s like a sign of high
social status. Everywhere people strive to be busy. Drive for busyness has become
a powerful cultural expectation. Busyness became a norm!
No matter
who I talk to: colleagues, friends, family, the conversation always starts with
the fact that life is busy – at work, at home, everywhere, all the time!
Some people
assert that the busy lifestyle is a personal choice they’d made in order to get
ahead or give their kids an edge for the future. Others are resigned, saying
they feel obligated to live super-busy and fast, as if swept away on a
fast-moving tide.
Edson
Rodriguez, a sociologist who studies frenetic families in L.A, says: “As a
culture, we have translated speed into being a virtue. If you are busy, if you
get things done quickly, if you move quickly throughout the day, it expresses
success. You’re achieving.”
But when
I talk to my friends about busyness somehow it doesn’t bring a sense of a great
progress or achievement, the To-Do list is constantly growing which leads to
more stress, we multitask all the time and that constant context-switching
creates feeling of time pressure and life becomes a constant race.
We are
too busy to make friends, too busy to date, too busy to sleep, and too busy to
have sex! We don’t have time for a lunch break, or to call our parents, we
can’t afford to have a vacation.
In Australia statistics shows that two-thirds of the working parents felt they didn’t get everything done in a day that they’d wanted to. 50 percent worried they didn’t spend enough time with their families. Nearly half felt trapped every day. If they needed more time, 60 percent said they cut down on sleep. And 46 percent said they had no time for leisure, even though it was what they most enjoyed.
We only
have one life do we care to make the best of it? Can we afford to slow down?
It might
look like you don’t get to choose, busyness is just there. But I believe people
do have a choice! I believe that you don’t have to do it ALL neither you have
to do it all by YOURSELF.
So I’ve started challenging myself with all the things I do. Do I, full-time working mum, really need to take my kid, after whole day at school, to swimming every Tuesday, sport classes on Thursdays and language school on weekends? Do I have to prepare a different meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and a fresh meal everyday? Do I need to clean my house by myself every week, instead of enjoying that time with my husband and son?
For a long time I thought that I really have to do all of it because that’s how my mum raised me and that’s how the society I grew up in has lived! But it didn’t make me happy, so I’ve stopped doing it.
That’s
why now I have a cleaner who comes once in the fortnight and does the cleaning
for me, so I can spend a weekend playing and travelling with my family; I ask
my husband to buy take-away sometimes even though I love cooking; I work from
home once per week, so I don’t have to spend time for commuting and rather do
some hobbies; and I allow myself to watch My Kitchen Rules sometimes because
that makes me happy and helps me to recharge!
Therefore,
I believe that slowing down is possible by sharing your responsibilities with
those around you and by spending time on what matters most! And my happy son
and still loving (after 9 years of marriage) husband is the only proof I
need.
